Recently I was sitting in front of my laptop looking for the inspiration to build something new. In the last few months, I struggled to find the energy to put myself again in front of a keyboard after work. I always loved to spend some of my free time in that way: learn new technology, use it to build something, and share it. But something was not working anymore.
At that moment, I realised I was forcing myself to do it. I didn’t enjoy it.
This realisation left me with a sense o emptiness.
Time to make a disclaimer: I still like (like, not love) what I do for a living. Writing code and building software put me in a space where I am comfortable. I am still excited to be able to create something typing on my keyboard. But the act of building software through code is not giving me a sense of accomplishment.
You can use any cool technology, programming language, or framework. But in the end, the technical challenges are always the same. Everything feels like applying an existing solution to a known problem.
Since I finished my PhD and joined the industry, I have felt out of place. I kept moving from one company to another, hoping to find my place.
But in this research, I have lost sight of my real purpose.
I love to solve problems. I love to understand how things work. I love technology. That is why I chose Computer Engineering in the first place and the reason I got into the PhD school. Code and software were some means to an end. They were not the final goal. But during my career, I ended up inside a vortex that pushed me to focus more and more on it.
Now I want to get back on track.
I won’t spend my free time anymore trying out new technologies for the sake of it. Unless they are helpful to a goal, it is a waste of time. If I don’t use them daily, I will forget them anyway.
I will focus on the foundations of specific technologies. The reason is that I love to understand their internals, and they won’t go anywhere. It will make me a better professional for sure.
I will still work on some projects, but only if it is something that will solve a problem that I have. I won’t put much emphasis on the technologies but on the general design of the system and how it solves my problem.
It is more complex when it comes to my career. I still have to understand the right direction to take, but my goal will be to focus more on solving problems and less on writing code.
Anyway, that is for another time. Now it is time to enjoy some vacation! 🌴
photo by Brett Jordan